Well Gracie is getting to that stage where she is starting to have play dates. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Play dates with cousins are ok. They are safe and I know their parents.
Last year we had our first play date with two kids (bro and sis) from her Spanish Immersion school. I invited them over and it was really fun for all the kids. So when their mom invited Grace over for a Saturday afternoon I barely hesitated dropping her off. I know the kids and the mom well and their daddy was at work that day. Everything went well and Grace had a great time!
Now another family from her school has been asking about a play date. I have been putting it off for awhile (mostly because I didn't see them in the summer as Grace stays at home with me). The mom (who is really really nice) kept asking me and asking me. I couldn't really say no anymore so we have it planned for today. The mom asked me which house we should do it at and I would rather do it at mine because I have more control and I know what's going on and what the kids are doing and can watch them. But we can't do it at mine because Dan is working nights right now and needs to sleep and quite frankly the house is a PIG STY! I gave up on cleaning because it just takes so much energy. I also have a fear that Buddy stink it still in the house so I really don't want to host right now!!
So Gracie is going to their house today. I am hesitant to do this and really wish that we weren't. The playdate starts at one. The mom wanted it to last until 5. I only want it to last for a couple hours. I even don't want it to last that long. It's toooooooo long for me to unsupervise my child. I'm hyperventalating just thinking about her in their house. Not because they are bad people but because I don't know them that well. ARGH. Why did I agree to this??
HOw do you have that conversation with other kids parents? Help me!!!
1 comment:
We have a rule at our house that the mom has to be home for play dates. If the mom has to leave, the kid has to come home. When it's a new person, I usually take my kid over there and hang out for a little while so I can see what their house is like, what kind of activities they're doing, and observe how well the mom keeps tabs on them.
Also, before Lily started going for playdates regularly, we had the discussion about our bodies and what was inappropriate touching, etc. And we had that conversation every month or so for awhile. Dan has even tested Lily by saying things like, "why did you have your panties off when you and your friend were playing doctor?" She looks at him funny and says, "I didn't!" We feel like the answer to that question is more reliable than if we asked, "did your friend touch you where she wasn't supposed to?"
The best way to start getting comfortable with it is to have a couple playdates at your house or just with neighbors so it's close by and you know you could pop in at any time. And I would not hesitate to tell the other mom that you're just starting playdates and are nervous about the whole thing. Just say that Grace has always been with you or family and you're not used to her being at other people's houses. Just chuckle and confess to being a neurotic mom and most other moms will totally understand that. And maybe just start with one or two hour playdates until you feel more comfortable with the whole thing.
It's very normal to be nervous about this with your first kid. Soon though, you'll realize the benefits of the whole thing and once your next little girl gets here, Grace will be happy to play with kids her age and you'll be happy for the alone time with the baby. Mostly you have to just chill out and dive in!
Good luck!
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